My balls are so social today.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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