The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
