I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
