May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
