College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
