Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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