We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
