so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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