Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
