Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
