I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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