i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
