is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
