I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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