Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
