everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
