Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
