So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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