I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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