Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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