Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
