He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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