is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
