yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
