You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize