just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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