she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Someone signed my nipple.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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