Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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