I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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