i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize