I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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