Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
