Got a toothbrush?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Do vagina's smell?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
be right there i have to get my cape
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
