So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
