I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
