I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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