worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
