Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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