love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
