since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
