I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
