all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
