is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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