meet me or not, i'm out of control
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
