Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
