i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I could fuck to npr.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
