If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
