Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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