at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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