some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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