rhymes with "ouble enetration"
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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