I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
