I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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