apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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