Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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