can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize