Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
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