She is in my trunk
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
