There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
